A Soldier's Secret Read online

  No! No, no, no! She cupped her hands over her ears and, gulping air, stuck her head inside the shower, then stepped into the unit, banging her toe on the lip as she did. She stumbled, catching herself before she fell. Her heart pounded a drumbeat in her ears. A small cut on her big toe began to bleed. She stared at it. Focus. Just focus.

  Standing directly under the showerhead, she forced herself to look around, focus on what was real. “Breathe,” she said aloud, as she watched the crimson water circle the drain. Just breathe.

  She took several long breaths, lifting her chest as she did, imagining she was an eagle soaring above the trees and into the clouds. She cranked the knob on the faucet to full force, raised her face to the spray and forced herself to think about nothing but the stinging pellets of water driving into her skin.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  MAC HELD OUT HIS CELL PHONE to get some distance from the blare of his mother’s reprimand.

  “I wondered about you two working together all this time. Is she pregnant? Are you sure you want to do this? I hope you’ll include your sisters in the wedding.”

  Include his sisters in the wedding? He hadn’t even talked to Natalia about getting married yet. Before hanging up, he assured his mom that he’d keep her in the loop and that he’d bring Natalia to Flagstaff to celebrate their engagement the first chance they had. But with work, that might be a while.

  His mother wasn’t happy. But then, she was happy only when she was meddling in her children’s lives, and his four younger sisters seemed to have inherited the gene.

  She did have a point, though. It had been a while since he’d been home. Maybe he would take Natalia to Flagstaff. In fact, maybe they could get married there.

  He’d told his mother about D.J. shortly after he’d found out, but said he didn’t want to talk any more about him until guardianship was a reality. She hadn’t mentioned the topic since, and that wasn’t like her. Maybe she didn’t relish the idea of an illegitimate grandchild. Whatever the case, nothing had happened to change things, so he had no reason to discuss the subject. She’d give her opinion soon enough.

  He poured another cup of coffee, then went to stand at the Arcadia door leading to the deck. No. Getting married in Flagstaff wouldn’t work. The only reason he’d told his mother at all was in case someone from the state department called to talk to her. He’d had to fill out scores of papers regarding grandparents and other family who might be involved in the child’s life. Even though it wasn’t technically an adoption, it was being treated as if it were. Hell, adoption was probably easier.

  And knowing his family, they would be involved—all of them. He was surprised he hadn’t gotten a call from one or more of his sisters already. On that thought, he picked up his phone again and set it on Silent to take messages. He had to arrange things with Natalia before talking to anyone else.

  NATALIA UNZIPPED HER jacket and waited for Serena to finish making her double latte. “So, what’s the big news?”

  Her friend scoffed. “Uh-uh. I asked you first. But wait till I finish here, and we can sit for a minute before the onslaught.” She went back to foaming Natalia’s latte, then set it down and wiped drips off the front of the copper espresso machine.

  The appliance took up one whole end of the old soda fountain counter that Serena had salvaged from a Flagstaff drugstore’s going-out-of-business sale. Most everything in the small café—the old ice cream tables and chairs, the plum-colored easy chairs, the embossed copper tiles behind the counter, and much of the kitchen equipment—had been salvaged from somewhere.

  Owning her own business had been Serena’s dream. It was Natalia’s long-time dream, too, and once she got the loans, she’d be in business. Literally.

  Despite Serena and Natalia’s personality differences, when they’d first met nearly eight years ago they’d bonded instantly. Natalia had been out of the service for a year and had just taken the position with Mountain Air. Who knew then that she might one day own the place?

  The thought made her smile. She just hoped she was as good a businesswoman as Serena was.

  Wearing a T-shirt with the Cosmic Bean logo on the front, a long black scarf wrapped stylishly around her neck, skinny jeans and her usual cowboy boots, Serena looked like a younger Nicole Kidman as she came around the counter with Natalia’s drink and one for herself. She nodded toward two sage-colored antique easy chairs near a picture window in front.

  Natalia always timed her arrival for about fifteen minutes before the breakfast crowd rolled in, to make sure she missed the rush. Serena’s cinnamon rolls were the most popular bakery item in the place. In fact, people came from all over the state for her homemade pastries and pies.

  Once in her chair, Serena said, “Okay, lady. It’s all you.”

  Natalia shrugged. “I told Mac I would do it. That’s all.”

  “Do it? As in marry him?”

  Natalia nodded.

  “No… Really?” A small smile began to form. Then Serena shook her head. “Uh-uh. I don’t believe it.”

  “Believe it.” Natalia took a sip of her skinny latte, savoring the rich vanilla flavor. She relaxed in the chair, studied the foam in her cup, avoiding the are-you-crazy look in her friend’s eyes. She’d have to agree with her; she was seriously, certifiably Looney Tunes. “Don’t look at me like that.”

  “Like what? Like I never expected the savvy, intelligent, got-all-her-shit-together person that you are to jump off the deep end like this? What’s up with that?”

  Right. “What else could I do? I owe him a hell of a lot more than being a fake spouse for a while.”

  “Yes, but…” Serena frowned. “It isn’t quite that simple, is it? I mean, there is actually getting married, and then when it’s all over, you have to get a divorce, and we both know what that’s like. It’s a lot to go through.”

  “No, it will be quick, clean and easy. There won’t be a divorce because we’ll get an annulment. There’s no emotional involvement, so no trauma, before or after, and…it’s only for a short time, just until all the legalities with his son are ironed out.”

  Serena’s skeptical expression said she wasn’t convinced, and frankly, neither was Natalia.

  “So, tell me again why this is absolutely necessary?”

  Natalia stood and peered out the window, watching Ed Torborg heading into the Blue Moon Saloon at the end of the street, even though he didn’t open until afternoon.

  “Apparently, the various government agencies involved don’t see genetics in quite the same way that we do. The complex immigration laws drive people to illegal alternatives—out of desperation. It’s further complicated because the mother was Iraqi. All I know is that Mac said there are several levels of agencies involved, and apparently, children from countries not under the Hague Convention have to meet specific guidelines before being considered for U.S. permanent residence.

  “Mac gave me a video of a documentary on 20/20 or someplace, that profiled several people, most of them former military, trying to get their illegitimate children out of another country. The bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo they had to go through was unbelievable. Some of them had even been married to the mother of their children, and it had been equally difficult. Some were still waiting to get custody when the show aired.”

  She moistened her lips. “Mac has been working on this for over a year, and was advised that being married would be a plus. He’d appear solid and stable to all the parties involved.”

  Serena nodded.

  “If I were in Mac’s shoes, I would do the same thing,” Natalia stated. “And, I think, so would you.”

  “True. I would do anything…give everything for my child,” she said without hesitation.

  Her friend looked away, and Natalia knew she’d sparked memories of the child Serena had had years ago and given up for adoption. Cole had left town and hadn’t even known she was pregnant. Serena had wanted another child ever since. She’d even talked about adopting or using a sperm donor. Then Cole had re
turned, and everything changed. They’d talked about finding the child, but had decided it would be better to wait until he was an adult, heartbreaking as that would be.

  The moment passed quickly, and Serena said, “Okay. I get all that now. But what about the kiss? Nick told everyone it looked pretty intense.” She raised her eyebrows suggestively. “Maybe the marriage will involve some other stuff?”

  Natalia turned to the window, avoiding her friend’s penetrating gaze. “Not a chance.”

  The town came alive as she watched. Tom Thompson ambled out of his hardware store and began to sweep the boardwalk in front, just as he’d done every day for as long as Natalia had been living in Spirit Creek. Roger Sustern steered his black Mercedes E550 badge of success into his reserved parking spot in front of the Spirit Creek Bank and climbed out, briefcase in hand, and one of the purple Jeeps burned rubber down Main Street. Sam and Cole started their tours early.

  “You know, most any woman in town would give up chocolate to be in your shoes with Mac.”

  Natalia eyed her from under lowered eyebrows. “We’re friends. And it’s a business deal.”

  Serena’s sly grin widened. “Yeah, but a little monkey business can’t hurt. It’s perfect for you. Friends with benefits. Isn’t that what you always said you wanted?”

  She did. Only it never worked out that way. “I want to stay friends, so let’s just leave it at that. If I change my mind, you’ll be the first to know.”

  Just then Sheriff Masterson’s patrol car pulled up in front of the Bean and parked. The sheriff was also a morning regular, and his fondness for Serena’s cinnamon rolls was evident in his expanding waistline.

  “Oh, crap,” Serena said as she got up to go to the counter. “We always get interrupted.”

  While the sheriff maneuvered his burgeoning body out of the vehicle, the door on the passenger side opened and another man wearing a tan uniform stood up.

  Serena cheerily greeted the two as they came in, then gestured to Natalia. “Deputy D’Angelo, meet Natalia Sokoloff.”

  “Adam is going to be the new sheriff when I retire,” Karl Masterson said.

  The deputy, who was tall, with raven black hair and even darker eyes, walked over and held out his hand to Natalia.

  “Nice to meet you, Officer D’Angelo,” she said, reaching to shake his hand.

  His lazy gaze slid over her from head to toe, lingering in some places longer than others.

  “Call me Adam. I’m more likely to answer.” His voice was deep and smooth. Too smooth. And he held her hand longer than necessary. Giving her a slow smile, he said, “I’ve heard about you. You found the three-year-old who’d wandered away from the campground a couple weeks back. Found him in some remote location where no one else had thought to look.”

  She forced a smile. “Just doing my job.”

  “Well,” he said, on his way back to the counter, “I’m here to do a job, too, and if you ever need my help, you know where to find me.” The look he gave her said it wasn’t search and rescue help he was interested in giving her.

  “Thanks. We coordinate with the sheriff’s office, but it’s usually Karl calling us, not the other way around.” She went back to sipping her coffee, and after the two men got their orders, paid and left, Serena joined her again.

  “Wow.” Her friend chuckled. “There was no mistaking his intentions, was there?”

  “He was being polite.”

  “Bull crap. If he wasn’t hitting on you, it was the next best thing.” Her mouth tipped in a devilish grin. “Which brings to mind the question…now that you and Mac are sort of engaged, are you two exclusive?”

  “That’s one of the items up for discussion,” she said. “And speaking of being engaged, what were you going to tell me? Did you set a date?”

  Serena beamed so brightly bolts of sunshine could’ve radiated from her face. She scooted to the edge of the seat cushion and leaned on the table. “You can’t tell anyone, and you have to promise you won’t. Not even Mac.” She raised her little finger. “Pinkie swear.”

  Natalia mimicked her action. “My lips are sealed.”

  Serena sat up straight, one hand against her stomach.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  For a moment, Natalia just sat there. As the news sank in, she said, “Oh, my gosh! Oh, wow.” She beamed right along with Serena, then got up and hugged her. “That’s so wonderful. Really, really wonderful. How far along?”

  “Three weeks, maybe. I just took the test yesterday, and I don’t want to tell anyone for a long while. Just you and Tori.”

  She nodded, and then they sat there, oddly quiet for a moment. Finally, they looked at each other and burst out laughing. “Ohmygosh! It’s so totally cool,” Natalia exclaimed. Serena deserved every bit of happiness that came her way, and Natalia felt joy as if it were her own.

  “I know.” Serena continued smiling.

  “So…what happens now? I mean, with the wedding and all that?”

  “We’re going to push up the date.”

  “I wasn’t aware you had a date.”

  “We don’t. But it was going to be soon, and now it’ll just be sooner. It won’t be anything big.”

  “Really? That’s not what you said you wanted before.”

  “I know. But things are different now. Number one, I don’t need the stress of planning a big wedding, and number two, there’s really no time to do so.”

  “Right.” Natalia remembered Serena telling her that if she ever got married, she wanted it to be the most romantic wedding ever. “But you should have the wedding you want, and I can help. I’ll do whatever you need me to do. And I’m sure Tori will be happy to pitch in, too.”

  Serena sobered. “Okay, there is one thing you can do....” She reached over the table and put her hand on Natalia’s. “I want you to be my maid of honor.”

  If Natalia had ever imagined either one of them having a wedding, she knew she would be in Serena’s and Serena would be in hers. “I’d be honored,” she said softly. “Truly honored.”

  “And Cole is going to ask Mac to be his best man. But don’t say anything to him because I don’t know if he’s asked him yet.”

  Serena’s radiance filled the room, and by the time they finished talking about all the different wedding options—from having the event at Cole’s mother’s house, to having the reception there, or at the Bean or maybe the Blue Moon—Natalia was as excited as her friend.

  A car door slammed outside. Then another. It was time for the breakfast crowd.

  “Gosh,” Serena said. “I’m taking up your whole day off. Do you have plans to do something today?”

  Natalia’s cell phone vibrated in her pocket just then, and when she took it out, she saw Mac’s number. She put the phone back and slanted her friend an admonishing glance. “You’re not taking up any of my time. I stopped in here, remember. And I’m not doing much of anything today. I have to go over and talk to Mac, but that’s about it. I may go to the office later.”

  Back behind the counter, Serena arched an eyebrow. “Maybe our hunky new sheriff-to-be will give you a call?”

  Natalia rolled her eyes and pulled open the door. “I’m spoken for, remember?”

  On her way out, she passed Travis Gentry, the town vet and oldest grandson of Amelia Gentry, who owned half the town.

  “Hey, Natalia. Off on another rescue?”

  “Nope, it’s a non-flight day for me.” Travis was one of Mac’s good friends, and he’d been her friend for quite a few years, too. Most of the town’s residents who were close in age knew each other, and on any night of the week you could usually find a friendly face at the Blue Moon.

  “Well, whatever you do, have a great time.”

  “Thanks, Trav. You, too.”

  She waved and headed for her car. Her days off weren’t any big deal. They might consist of reading or going hiking and doing some photography. Sometimes she worked at the homeless shelter in Prescott, and sometimes she went to Phoenix a
nd hung out with a couple friends who lived there, enjoying happy hour or a play or movie.

  Once in a while she might even have a date. But not lately. She’d long ago given up the idea of any happily-ever-afters for herself. Her friends needled her that she was afraid of commitment, and maybe that had once been part of it, thanks to her ill-fated college marriage and every ill-fated romance since then. But it was the nightmares that had changed everything. She knew the truth—and it was her secret to keep. Instead of dating, she spent many of her days off hanging out at the hangar, a place where she felt alive, a place where she was needed.

  Her phone vibrated again.

  What she didn’t do on her day off was go to Mac’s to talk about getting married.

  NATALIA WALKED UP THE porch steps at Mac’s house, which sat on several acres outside town. It was a typical ranch-style home, built somewhere in the late seventies. Most of it was one floor, except for a wing on the east side two stories high. Mac had driven her by the house when he was considering the purchase a couple months ago, and at the time she’d asked him why he wanted to buy such a large place. He’d told her he wanted room to set up a physical therapy office since he still did that part-time. And he needed space for his mother and sisters when they came to visit.

  Now Natalia knew the real reason. His son.

  She pulled up the collar of her leather jacket against the crisp morning air, rang the bell and waited. The house was nestled in a meadow flanked by Sedona’s red rock mountains to the west and the distant, snow-capped San Francisco Peaks to the north. Forest-green piñon pines contrasted with the fire-red rocks like slashes of oil paint on a too-perfect canvas. The scene could’ve been a photograph straight out of National Geographic.