A Soldier's Secret Read online

  Digging her keys from her purse as she left the bank, she nearly ran into Mac coming inside. Her heart sank. What were the odds that she’d bump into the one person she didn’t want to see? “Oh, sorry, Mac.”

  Her phone rang just then and, flipping it open, she saw a dispatch on the SAR line. STAT. She held the screen up for Mac to see, and relief flooded through her. Work was what she needed. Work kept her mind busy, kept her on track. She knew what was needed and she had the expertise to do it. Work was her safety net.

  “I’ll meet you there,” he told her.

  “Okay,” she replied, then watched as he went to the teller’s window and drooled over the barely-out-of-her-teens girl on the other side. She smiled and batted her eyelashes, then flipped her long blond hair back over her shoulders.

  Natalia glanced at Roger, who was also looking at the two of them—and that’s when she realized she really would do anything to secure her future.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  NATALIA HAD JUST FINISHED the safety check when Mac arrived at Love Field and strode over to the helo. He walked tall and straight, a tribute to his military training, and even though he wore his usual faded jeans, black Mountain Air T-shirt, olive drab army jacket and boots, he commanded as much attention as if he’d been wearing a general’s uniform.

  There was a time, when they’d first met in Iraq, that she’d envisioned Mac in a romantic way.

  But her comrades quickly pointed out his prolific dating history and squelched any fantasies she had. And then she’d met Jake, a bad-boy second lieutenant, who’d fulfilled a fantasy or two—until she’d caught him cheating. A couple more relationships like that had validated what she’d long suspected. Her judgment was seriously flawed when it came to men. Now when she dated it was never with any thoughts of the future.

  “I’m done,” she said. “We’re good to go.” During the past three years, she and Mac had developed a systems check that took less than fifteen minutes to complete. As the pilot, it was her responsibility to run through the preflight safety survey on the aircraft. Mac checked the medical equipment. She had to admit they were a great team.

  Just then she saw their other team member, Nick Lopez, the tactical flight officer, walking toward them. “Hola,” he said. “I got the call, but no information.”

  “Water rescue,” Mac told him. “One man.”

  Twenty minutes later they spotted their man clinging to a rock in the middle of Big Chino Wash, a usually dry tributary of the Verde River. Late monsoon rains had filled the upper lakes and streams to peak proportions and many hiking areas were no longer safe due to flash flooding.

  In this case, the guy had decided to drive his truck across the burgeoning wash and got swept away in a sudden rush of water that transformed the gully into a raging river. He’d escaped the vehicle, but was struggling to stay above water. Between the wash, the dangerously swift current and the rapids, no one had been able to reach him from either side.

  Natalia adjusted her headphones so she could hear clearly. She motioned to Mac to test his. Everything on a rescue, no matter how small, was critical.

  “So, what do you think?” he asked, but the question was a mere formality. In this situation there were two choices. One, toss down the hoist and let the guy attach himself, which in most cases was difficult for the person to do without getting swept away, or two, lower a man, who could secure the victim and bring them both up together.

  Mac was a paramedic, but had expertise in SAR techniques, as well. Nick, the newest member of their team, had SAR training, but was too inexperienced for something this risky.

  Nick knew the drill and began preparing the lifeline.

  “It’s you, Mac,” she said.

  “Right.” He pulled open his door and craned his neck to see what was going on below.

  “Not excited, are we?”

  He kept his gaze on the turbulence beneath them. “Dangling on the end of a rope over a raging river has never been on my ‘favorite things to do’ list.”

  “Compared to Iraq, this should be a piece of cake.”

  He turned to look at her, all joking gone from his expression. “It’s never a piece of cake.”

  Natalia wouldn’t know. Even though she’d been trained in all the SAR techniques, she seldom had an opportunity to do anything but fly the aircraft. She nodded.

  Mac was the bravest man she knew, and if he thought something was difficult enough to readily admit the fact, it was time to be serious. “I can swing you two to the road on the other side.”

  “Sounds like a plan,” Mac said, then secured the clips on the lifeline between his legs and around his waist. He went to the open door and sat on the edge, ready to descend. “Whenever.”

  Natalia’s breath caught. The point of no return.

  “Okay,” Nick said, and Mac went over the edge. When he was halfway down, she maneuvered the chopper directly above the man in the water. With her mind locked on the job, her hand steady on the stick between her legs, she kept checking lines and gauges, making sure nothing unexpected came up while her partner was in the most dangerous position possible in a water rescue.

  The helo’s rotary blade beat out a steady thrum above her, a sound she monitored closely. A bird, a downdraft, any kind of flying object could put all their lives at risk.

  As she brought Mac down, the rope swung to the right in a sudden gust of wind. The river frothed and raged, piling logs and debris behind the rock where the man clung to life. She repositioned, bringing Mac nearly on top of the guy, and she heard him say, “Clipping in.”

  “Roger.” While he struggled with the harness and clips, she scanned the area, her heartbeat drumming in her ears. Seeing a massive tree trunk pop up in the floodwaters, Natalia’s heart leaped. The log surged directly toward the two men, and with only seconds to act, she hit the throttle, jerking Mac and the victim upward just as the tree roared past.

  All senses on alert, she brought the two men to safety on the road above the river and set them down, hovering until Mac refastened the man for the lift up and into the aircraft.

  “We’re good,” he said through his mic.

  Once they were up, Nick quickly secured the victim, assessed his condition and covered him with a hypothermia blanket.

  The young man had been there for hours and needed immediate attention. While Mac and Nick gave assistance, Natalia made contact with the tower to bring her into the landing pad at the Flagstaff Medical Hospital. She couldn’t help thinking about two helos that had crashed at the hospital not that long ago, killing seven people.

  “He’s going to be okay,” Mac said, coming up beside her. “And so am I, thanks to your quick thinking.”

  Relief flooded through her, and she swallowed a sudden lump in her throat. “That’s what I’m here for.”

  BACK IN THE OFFICE, Mac said, “You saved my life.”

  Nick had gone to talk to some guys in the next room, so it was just the two of them, and Natalia knew Mac was going to ask for a decision. As was her habit, she sat at her desk and pulled out the report papers. “Nothing you wouldn’t have done.”

  He stood in front of her, his mouth compressed. “You’re right. But I’m still grateful. Not everyone would have been able to make such a quick decision. Especially when you didn’t know if I’d finished securing the subject.”

  She put the papers down, removed her baseball cap and the rubber band from her ponytail, ran her hand through her hair and then went back to the report.

  “It didn’t matter. I couldn’t do anything for him, but I could for you. And lucky for him, you were quick in getting the job done.”

  She picked up a pen. She’d made a split-second decision to save one life over another. A decision that had turned out okay. This time.

  She drew a deep breath. Today, everything had gone perfectly, and she didn’t have to think about anything else.

  Mac sat in the plastic office chair in front of the desk, one leg crossed in an L over the other. Bu
t his demeanor was different than she was used to.

  Usually after a rescue they joked and kidded around to relieve the tension, his smile always at the ready. This one wasn’t as quick. It was warm and gentle, and the strangely gooey look in his eyes made her want to run.

  “Saving lives seems to be a thing between us.”

  “It’s our job.” She shoved the papers at him. “Here, do your part.”

  He laughed aloud, the kind of booming laugh she liked in a man. He took one of the sheets, pulled out a pen and started writing.

  A ten-minute reprieve. But that’s all it would be. She wasn’t going to get out of here today without giving him an answer. She’d delayed long enough. But it was just long enough for her to revisit an idea she’d had at the bank.

  If they were married and Mac’s credit and assets were good, there should be no question about her getting the loan to buy the business. She ran through the pluses and minuses. She’d be helping Mac, he’d be helping her.

  On the minus side, it would be more difficult to keep part of her life to herself—to keep her secret—and her life would not be her own. But what would it be like if she couldn’t fly? Which ultimately hinged on her buying the business.

  When Mac set his paper aside, she said, “I’ve been thinking.”

  He looked up and grinned. “Thinking is good.”

  “I’ve been thinking about your problem.”

  His expression flattened. “I don’t have a problem, Nats. A problem is something to think about and come to a conclusion on how to fix. I have an emergency and it needed fixing yesterday!”

  “Okay. Okay. I’ll do it.”

  “I don’t have all the t—” His mouth dropped open. “What?”

  “I said I’ll do it.”

  “Just like that?”

  “Just like that.”

  He slumped back in his chair. “Wow. I can’t believe it. I mean, I wanted you to agree, but honestly…” He shook his head. “I really didn’t think you would.”

  She stood, forced a smile. Was he right? Would she have said yes if she hadn’t needed him, too? “I still think you’re crazy, and I don’t really see how this will work, but for your sake I hope it does.”

  He launched himself from the chair and nearly leaped over the desk to hug her. “It will work.”

  She hugged him back in the same friendly way they always did, but he clasped her a little harder.

  “I’m grateful. Really, really grateful.”

  Pulling back, she said, “Stop that. I’m not a saint. I want to help you, but I finally realized that doing this might help me, too.”

  He dropped his arms. “Oh? How’s that?”

  She told him about the bank and the difficulty getting the loan, and as she was speaking, she watched his excitement take a nosedive.

  “Well, good,” he finally said, his voice even, controlled. “Then it works out well for both of us.” He nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah. This is great.” He turned, took a couple steps, rubbed his hands together and turned back again. “We need to make plans.”

  The enthusiasm had left his voice, but he seemed just as eager to move forward.

  “What plans?”

  “Plans to get married. Do you want a big wedding or do you want to elope?” The playful sparkle in his eyes returned.

  She jabbed him on the arm. “Funny. And aren’t you getting ahead of yourself?”

  “How so?” He took a swig of coffee and glanced at her over his cup.

  “You haven’t proposed yet.”

  Nearly snorting out his drink, Mac laughed aloud and simultaneously caught a glimpse of Nick rounding the corner. Great timing. Hoping he was watching them, Mac rushed over, got down on one knee and blurted, “Will you marry me, Natalia?”

  Her hand flew to her chest as if she was having a coronary. “What the—”

  “Just smile and say yes. Nick’s watching.”

  Eyes darting, she did as instructed.

  “Good girl.” Mac got up and hugged her again, lingering this time, for Nick’s sake. Still hugging her, he whispered in her ear, “If you hug me back, everyone will believe we’re for real.”

  She did as he asked, albeit stiffly. Then she said, “How fortuitous.”

  Neither of them was going to win any acting awards, but he looked at her as affectionately as he could. “Now kiss me.”

  Seeing she wasn’t about to do it, he murmured, “People kiss when they just get engaged. You can wash your mouth out later.” Then he kissed her. Kissed her like someone who’d just heard a “yes” from his fiancée might kiss.

  Natalia’s lips were warm and soft, and suddenly she was kissing him back, her body easing against his. Instantly, he was hard.

  She nudged him away. “Nick’s gone.”

  Her mouth was pink and full from the kiss—and her face was getting pinker by the second.

  Mac waited for her to complain, or at least deliver a few choice words, but she looked more confused than anything. “Sorry about that,” he said as contritely as possible while not feeling sorry. “What can I say… I’m a guy. We have no control when in compromising positions.”

  She turned and started for the door.

  He followed. “That wasn’t bad,” he said, touching his lips and continuing his usual banter. “You could’ve put a little more into it, though.”

  Stopping in her tracks, she swung around to face him. Her expression could’ve withered steel I beams.

  “For Nick’s sake,” he added.

  She jabbed him again, in the chest—and this time there was some power behind it.

  “You wouldn’t know how to handle it if I did,” she said, then turned and walked away.

  A quick burst of adrenaline shot through him. Man, he loved to get her riled up. He was about to toss back an appropriate comment, as he usually did, but thought better of it. She might take his joking seriously, and that was the last thing he needed. This whole deal depended on her, and he wasn’t going to screw that up for anything. The farther he stayed away from her, the better.

  As she walked out the door, he said to her back, “So, do you want to meet later to make plans? I think you should move some things into my place as soon as possible.”

  She didn’t turn. “I’ll call you.”

  Mac stood there for a moment feeling off-kilter. Looking out the large plate-glass window, he watched Natalia saunter over to her cherry-red Mustang, flip her hair back over her shoulders and slide her long legs inside her car. Seconds later, she peeled out, tires screaming. His blood rushed.

  He pulled out his cell phone and punched in Wendy’s number.

  BACK IN HER CONDO, Natalia tossed her long scarf and black leather jacket on the couch, peeled off her black boots and plopped into the easy chair in front of the flat-screen TV.

  She’d been driving the switchbacks for half an hour but still couldn’t come down from the rescue. Usually all it took was a few fast miles and some Linkin Park or Foo Fighters to get her mind going in another direction. But today, nothing worked, not even “Waiting for the End.”

  Instead, Mac’s words kept playing over and over in her head. Move some things into my house.

  Until now, it had been just talk. Of course she’d have to move things in if they were married. She’d have to do a lot of things—including “acting” married for the people around them.

  That reality had been brought home with a thud when Mac kissed her—for Nick’s sake. Remembering his instant physical response, she smiled. It had been a long time since she’d been with a guy, but not long enough that she’d stopped thinking about sex. Lack of sexual desire had never been a problem for her, but every guy she’d gotten that involved with seemed to suddenly want more. And more was what she didn’t want.

  Even during the brief time she’d been married, she’d felt as if she were suffocating.

  But this was Mac, her best male friend. It wasn’t the real thing, and everything they’d done—and would do—was for show.
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  Thinking about it was stupid. Overreacting. She lifted both feet to the ottoman. Mac was being his usual light, bright and easy self. But all his joking aside, he had one mission—to gain custody of his son.

  And she was going to help him.

  A short assignment. That’s all it was. So what the hell was she doing, kissing him back like that? Good God. He must’ve thought she was starved for affection. She rarely got embarrassed, but when she thought about how she’d kissed him so thoroughly, she wanted to disappear.

  The jangle of her cell phone brought her to attention. She glanced at the number. “Hey, Serena. What’s up?”

  “That’s what I wanted to ask you. Nick told Cole that he saw you and Mac kissing.”

  “It was nothing.”

  “Nothing? He said it looked like Mac was proposing.”

  “It’s still nothing. And I hate to cut you off, but I just got back from work and was about to jump in the shower. I’ll be by in the morning for coffee, and I’ll fill you in then.”

  “You’re a sadist.”

  “And you’ve got too much time on your hands.”

  “Well, I’ve got something exciting to tell you, too,” Serena said.

  “What?”

  “Oh, suddenly you have time? No, you can wait, too, but it’s really good.”

  “Now who’s the sadist?”

  They laughed together, and feeling much better, Natalia said goodbye. Heading to the shower she turned on the water to let it get warm.

  There was a time when she would’ve jumped in her car and zipped over to talk to her best friend. But since Serena had reestablished her relationship with Cole, things had changed.

  Natalia sighed, reflecting on her father’s words when she’d balked at changing schools when they’d moved to a larger apartment. “The only certain thing in this world is change.” Back then, moving meant losing the one friend she’d made. The one friend her parents had approved of. This was different, but in both cases, she’d had no choice in the matter.

  As she undressed, the bathroom became warm and moist. Humidity fogged the mirror over the sink and the sound of rushing water filled the space. Her heartbeat quickened as the sound grew louder and louder, and suddenly she saw water all around her, swirling and foaming, until it was below her and Mac was there dangling on the end of a rope. She couldn’t breathe. She felt her throat closing, then a crushing pain in her chest. She heard a baby crying, saw images of fire, smoke, shells of buildings…and dark pleading eyes…a horror show she didn’t want to watch but couldn’t stop. Bombs blasted until her head rang.