A Soldier's Secret Read online

  The door opened and Mac appeared, wearing jeans and a camouflage T-shirt, his hair still wet from the shower, coffee cup in one hand and a more somber expression than usual on his face.

  “Hey, Natalia.” He motioned her into the living room and raised his mug. “Coffee?”

  “No, thanks.” She lifted her thermal cup. They stood there for a moment, an awkward silence hanging in the space between them.

  “I’m glad you came,” he said finally. “We have a lot to talk about.”

  She nodded. “I’m sure.”

  Another awkward silence.

  He clutched the coffee mug tighter, then gestured toward the couch.

  She went over and sat at one end of the doe-brown sectional in front of a massive stone fireplace, and Mac settled a few cushions away from her.

  “I thought we should talk over what to do next.”

  She nodded. “We’ve already started the rumor mill going, so it won’t be a surprise to anyone when we actually do the deed.”

  He gave her a thumbs-up. “Exactly.” He took a sip of coffee. “Did you bring some things to start moving in? We need to be prepared in case somebody doing a background check decides to pop in unexpectedly.”

  Natalia shifted uneasily in her seat. “They’re going to check on me, too?”

  “They might, since I told my attorney we were engaged.”

  “You what?”

  “I didn’t say your name or anything, but I imagine once you sign the papers, one of the million agencies will be doing a background check on you.”

  He frowned at her. “You’re not hiding anything, are you?”

  Heat rose to her face and she quickly glanced away. “Right. I’m a spy living in a town of fifteen hundred people. You wouldn’t believe the secret information coming out of this international hub.”

  Laughing, he said, “That’s probably more true than we realize, only not on a national level.”

  She grinned. “My name is probably a dead giveaway.”

  He smiled, but quickly sobered and gave her the most serious look she’d ever seen on his face. “I know it might seem like I’m rushing things, but my attorney said it’s all coming together, and a social worker is going to come out fairly soon to verify residence for the guardianship, visa and citizenship purposes. And my guess is that one of the agencies wants to see if I’m going to provide a better home for him than the great-aunt.”

  “They do that?”

  “They verify everything. The new Arizona state immigration law requires even more scrutiny.” He shook his head. “It’s mind-boggling, so I’ve just decided to follow my attorney’s advice and do what he says. So far he’s been on target.”

  She shrugged. “Okay. I guess if we’re going to do it, we should just get it over with.”

  He looked at her, eyebrows scrunching together. “I love your enthusiasm.” His tone was edged with sarcasm, but then he slapped his knees, got up and held out a hand. “Come on. I’ll show you the rest of the house.”

  As he pulled her up, Natalia said, “I’m here. I didn’t know enthusiasm was required.”

  “Ouch. That hurts.” Mac placed a hand over his heart.

  It was true. Everything felt forced and unnatural, and it was difficult to joke around about something so serious.

  When she didn’t say anything else, he added, “No, it isn’t required, but it would be more realistic…and it would make me feel better. It can’t be that awful, being around me a little more than normal, can it?”

  She nodded and laughed. “Yes, it can.”

  His eyes softened at her gibe, and he laughed, too. But it was hollow and forced. She realized he was just as uptight as she was. “I’m sorry. I just have to get used to the idea. Everything is happening really fast, and it seems like it’s going to go even faster. Just humor me for a while, okay?”

  Mac grinned. “I always do.” He gestured for her to go ahead of him through the arch that led into a kitchen that could easily seat ten. The home might be rustic, but the kitchen had been updated and was thoroughly modern, with stainless-steel appliances, granite countertops and rich cherry cabinetry.

  Decorations were few, and the only signs that someone lived there were a toaster, a Cuisinart coffeemaker and a block of chef’s knives on the counter. Definitely a guy’s place.

  He spread his arms. “Feel free to use anything and do anything you wish,” he said. “As they say, mi casa es su casa. Make yourself at home, and if you ever want to do some cooking, I won’t complain.” He grinned, raised a brow. “You do cook, don’t you?”

  When she gave him her surely-you’re-joking look, he laughed softly and scratched his head. “It seems like I should know that, doesn’t it?”

  Natalia joined him at the center island and perched on one of the stools with seats covered in burnished leather. “Not necessarily. Most of the time we talk about work, or our friends. And no, I don’t cook. Do you?”

  “Some, but I’m going to have to learn a lot more, now that I’ll have someone to cook for.” His mouth flattened. “Man, this is really going to be strange. I don’t have any idea what a five-year-old likes to eat.”

  Natalia chuckled. “I’m guessing he’ll let you know that right away, along with a bunch of other things.”

  “I just hope I don’t screw up royally. I mean, I know something about little boys, because I was one once, but this is different, and there’s so much involved. Everywhere I look there’s something new I have to do or pay attention to.”

  Fine lines at the corners of his mouth deepened as his lips drew tight. She hadn’t seen this side of Mac before. Yes, she imagined it would be a real change to have a child in the house. It would be for both of them. Except her time here would be limited, and before long she’d go back to her normal life. Mac’s life would never be the same again.

  “It’ll be fine, Mac. Quit worrying. Everything will fall into place.”

  “I hope you’re right,” he said, then got up. “Okay, let’s go upstairs. I’ll show you the bedrooms.”

  Natalia followed along. The first room they encountered was a small, nicely appointed guest bedroom with an old four-poster bed covered with a plain cream-colored comforter. Her room, she guessed.

  They went on to the master bedroom, a huge room with a king-size bed, which made sense, since Mac was over six feet tall. He gestured toward an archway.

  “That’s the master bathroom, and fortunately, it has two sinks.”

  Natalia swallowed. Was he planning on her sleeping in his bedroom?

  The question must’ve been evident on her face, because he quickly added, “Even though you’ll be sleeping in the guest room, I think keeping some of your clothes and your personal items here is a good idea. People…family and friends might stop by. Someone from the court will probably be out, too.”

  She nodded. He’d thought of everything. All she had to do was follow directions. The room suddenly felt warm, so she headed for the door and on the way asked, “What will you tell your son?”

  Following her out, he said, “I don’t think he’s going to ask anything. He’ll know I’m his father, and that you’re not his mother. I don’t think we need to make any big explanations, because once he’s here and all the papers are signed, you’ll go home and we’ll get the annulment.”

  His eyebrows knotted together. “I really need to spend time getting to know him. I need to know what kind of life he lived before the orphanage, so I’ll know how to deal with any problems he might have. I hope he hasn’t seen any violence firsthand. That could make it even harder for a child to adjust.”

  No question there. They’d both seen children traumatized by the war in Iraq, images she couldn’t get out of her head.

  “Post-traumatic stress disorder takes a while to show up,” Mac continued. “I have no idea what he knows about his mother’s disappearance, or what he might’ve seen.”

  Natalia reached to touch Mac’s arm. “It doesn’t matter. Whatever it was like, he�
��ll be better off here. He’ll have a stable life, a family. He’ll go to school, make friends and live the life every kid in the non-free world dreams of.

  “Before I left Croatia, I thought of America as a place where everybody had everything they wanted, and I wanted everything, too. I saw the United States as a place where I could do what I wanted with my life. I didn’t want it dictated by someone else.” Including my parents. “He’ll be happy here, Mac. He’ll be happy with you, and you’ll be a great dad.”

  He gave her a half smile. “Thanks, I appreciate that, and I sure hope you’re right.” His eyes warmed as he looked at her—at her hand on his arm.

  She pulled away.

  “Okay, let’s go see David’s room. I put some kid stuff in there, but I’m not sure what to do with it. Maybe you can help a bit with the decorating?”

  Entering, she found it hard to miss the bed shaped like a racing car that dominated the small room. Some framed posters of ball players leaned against one wall and on another, a bookcase was jammed full of boy-type stuff: model cars, baseball trading cards, a baseball glove and several balls. A couple bats leaned against the corner, one with an Arizona Diamondback’s cap on top. Except for the hat, most of the things appeared used.

  “I hope he likes baseball,” Natalia said. She picked up a ball signed by Mickey Mantle, tossed it from one hand to the other.

  “Yeah, me too.”

  “So where did you get all this stuff? Did you want to be a baseball player when you were a kid?”

  “It was more my dad wanting me to be one. Don’t get me wrong—I loved to play, and still do, but my dad had this dream for me, and as fun as it was, it wasn’t my dream.”

  Natalia’s parents had had dreams for her, too. “Was he disappointed when you decided to do something else?”

  “No, baseball decided for me. I guess he might’ve been disappointed when I didn’t play well enough to get into the school leagues, but he knew I tried. The strange part of it is I’d probably be a ball player today if I had been good enough.”

  “Even if you wanted to do something else?”

  “Yup. I would’ve done anything for my dad. He was my hero. The next best thing was to join the military. He would’ve liked that. It’s just too bad he wasn’t around to see it.”

  “What did you really want to do?”

  Mac took the baseball from her hand and lovingly set it back on the bookshelf. “I wanted to help people, and when I broke my leg in the fifth grade and they took me to the E.R. in an ambulance, sirens blaring, I knew that’s what I wanted to do. So, I’ve fulfilled part of my dream. I think that’s more than most people get to do in this life.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean most people work every day at a job they don’t necessarily love, but they need to support their families, they need to make money to keep the wolf from the door, so they do it. They sacrifice for their loved ones. My dad did that, and I feel lucky to have had him for the time he was here. Unfortunately, he died before he had the chance to see the fruits of his work.”

  Natalia walked over to the pictures, picked one up and held it to the wall. “I think if you make a collage with all your baseball photos on the small wall, then maybe let your son pick out what he wants for the other wall, he’ll feel more a part of making this his own room.”

  “Great idea.” Mac turned to look at her. “Now, why didn’t I think of that?”

  She was glad to see his exuberance return. When Mac felt good, it was hard to be in his company and not feel good, as well.

  “So what do you say we go get some of your things? It will be a lot easier to use my truck than your little Mustang.” When she didn’t respond right away, he added, “Unless you have a hot date or something.”

  He knew better. She had few dates, and when she did, it seemed everyone in town knew about it. Living in a small town had its advantages and disadvantages. Lack of privacy was one of the latter.

  “No, but that does bring up the question. If one of us wants to go out on a date, how do we handle that?”

  His brows furrowed, as if it was something he hadn’t thought of. “I don’t know. I just figured I’d lay off dating for a while. But I can’t ask that of you. Maybe you can do your dating in Sedona or someplace where no one will see you and start rumors of infidelity?”

  She shrugged. It was a rhetorical question, anyway.

  “My first priority is to get David settled. And…” Mac grimaced. “I have a whole ton of stuff to do to get the rest of the house organized before he arrives.”

  “I can help,” Natalia said, but as soon as she did, she wondered if it was wise. She didn’t want Mac to begin to depend on her when she was going to be leaving as soon as she could. And she didn’t want to get emotionally involved. She had to stay removed. Keep her distance.

  She went to the door. “Well, I brought a few things over, so it isn’t necessary to use your truck. I don’t need much.”

  “I don’t know any woman who could fit all her stuff in that Mustang of yours.”

  “And you do know a lot of them,” she quipped. It was no secret that Mac was the most popular single guy in the greater Sedona area. He’d dated women from Prescott to Flagstaff, and was known to go even farther, if necessary. She couldn’t blame him for that. There wasn’t exactly an overabundance of single women or men in Spirit Creek.

  Mac followed her to the car and picked up one of the duffel bags that she’d tossed in the trunk. “This is it?”

  She flipped her hair back and grabbed another duffel bag. “For now. If I knew how long I was going to be staying, it would be easier to know what to bring.”

  Back inside, they went to the guest room and she tossed the bag she carried onto the bed.

  “Hey…” He picked up her fuzzy stuffed bear from the side pocket. “Cute.” He tapped the golden aviator wings pinned on the bear’s chest. “What are the wings for?”

  She snatched the bear from him and stuffed it back into the pocket. “Something to do with the airlines. I was six when we came over and my mother told me I was too old for teddy bears, but the flight attendant gave it to me, anyway.”

  “And you kept it.” He gave her a puzzled look. A moment later, his face lit up, as if he’d just gotten a great idea. “Hey, I hadn’t thought about that. You know all the problems a kid might have starting over in a new country. You and David will have something in common.” Mac smiled at her. “Maybe you can help me understand some of the problems before they become problems.”

  “Maybe,” she said. “I adjusted fairly easily, and I think that’s true for most kids. But it’s still difficult. Different language, different customs.” Different parents. Different expectations.

  “They said he speaks English, so that’s one obstacle down.”

  She couldn’t help smiling. She’d never seen Mac like this before—all concerned and worried that he was going to screw up. “It’ll work out. You’re going to be a great dad, and that’s all that matters.”

  She glanced around. The room was nice, with just the four-poster bed, a dresser with a mirror above, an end table and a chair. She ran her hand over the smooth, dark wood of one of the posts.

  “This set belonged to my parents,” Mac said, tapping the top of the footboard. “My mom had been storing it in the attic because even though she wanted a new one, she didn’t want to get rid of it. So I took it off her hands.”

  Natalia couldn’t help thinking of the difference between Mac’s parents and her own. Her parents didn’t have attachments to anything. They’d sold everything to move to the U.S. Everything. If she hadn’t spirited away a couple of treasures, they’d be gone, too.

  “Okay. So that’s it? I can bring over later whatever else I need. Right now I have to know what the schedule is going to be, so I can get the rest of my life organized around it.”

  “Good thought. The first thing on the list is to get married. I’m thinking Friday would be good.”

  “Frida
y?” She could almost feel the blood draining from her face. “That’s tomorrow. We’d need to get a license, and isn’t there some kind of waiting time?”

  “Not in Nevada. Laughlin is only a few hours away.”

  He gave her an apologetic look. “The sooner we do it, the better.”

  She huffed, then strode to the door, where she stopped, turned to look at him again. “It seems you’ve thought of everything.”

  “I did.” His eyes lit up again as he grabbed her hand and dragged her back down the stairs to the kitchen. He went to a cabinet, opened a door, took out a small plastic bag and retrieved the contents—a small jewelry box. Grinning as if he’d just won a Maserati, he handed it to her.

  “It’s just a band, but I figured you’d want something simple, anyway.”

  “I DON’T SEE WHAT’S wrong with calling Serena to let her know what we’re doing,” Natalia said, glancing out the window of Mac’s four-wheel-drive Ram truck.

  He glanced at the clock on the dash. They’d been on the road for three hours and were close to the Arizona-Nevada border.

  “Everybody’s going to know. Once we’re married, anyway,” she said, the thought making her stomach churn.

  “They will. But I just think it’s better to wait. If Serena knows, then Cole knows and Tori knows and Linc knows and everybody knows. And they’re going to have all kinds of questions and opinions.”

  She gave him a sidelong glance. “They’re going to have all kinds of questions and opinions no matter when they find out.”

  He reached over and touched her arm reassuringly. “But do we really want to get into all of that right now? This has been a whirlwind already, and we should probably take a few minutes to figure out what we’re going to tell everybody so that were on the same page.”

  What he really wanted was to just get it over with, without anyone trying to talk Natalia out of getting married, or even suggesting that she think about it for a while. Serena, he knew, had already done that.