A Soldier's Secret Read online

  “Oh, sure,” Mac said, his gaze still on her. “Hit me again.”

  A long moment passed before he said, “You look stunning tonight.”

  Her heart raced. Her skin grew warm.

  Then he glanced around, as if to see if anyone was watching. As the realization hit her, her stomach dropped to her toes. He was acting. Tonight, everything—it was all acting. Making it look real. Mac was doing exactly as he’d said.

  Oh, God. How foolish was she? How foolish had she looked to Mac? She stepped back and said under her breath, “And your acting is a tad over the top, don’t you think?”

  He shrugged and gave her a slow, intimate smile. “Maybe, but it’s true. You do look beautiful.”

  Mac’s mother came over just then. “A reminder that the bride and groom’s dance is only a couple of songs away, and after that, the parents’ dance, and then you’ll cut the cake. If you want anything to eat, you should do it before then.”

  Natalia’s parents weren’t there. She hadn’t even told them about the marriage. There was no point. So during the parents’ dance, Mac would dance with his mom and she’d dance with Cole. For one fleeting moment, Natalia wondered what it would be like if it was all real and she could dance with her father as he’d been when she was little. Before he’d become the man with no feelings. But she’d learned a long time ago that wishing and hoping never accomplished anything.

  Natalia drew a deep breath. “You know, there are quite a few people I haven’t spoken to yet,” she said. “I better do that first.”

  “Right,” Mac agreed. “I need to do that, too.”

  With that, they went in separate directions. Mac headed toward the party room where the buffet was located, and Natalia went out to the back patio where she’d seen Tori and Serena go, along with Ginny, Elizabeth, and Olivia Gentry.

  Outside, she sucked in a quick breath seeing the beautiful overhead canopy twinkling with lights. Another sound system played soft romantic music, and a dozen or so round tables with white linen tablecloths and orange-and-yellow bouquets surrounded a center table that held a five-tiered wedding cake decorated with orange and yellow roses. It was exactly as she would have wanted it to be if she were having a real wedding reception.

  On her way over to see her friends, Natalia stopped at a table where Cole’s mother, Isabella St. Germaine, and Sheriff Masterson and his wife, Marley, were chatting away. They all extended congratulations, then Isabella said, “It sure was a surprise, you two running off and getting married like that.”

  “Not to me,” Karl said. “You don’t hang out in the right places, Izzy.” He winked at her.

  “Maybe you’re right,” Izzy said. “The last I heard, Mac was dating that pretty Lawton girl.”

  MAC TRIED TO MAKE SMALL talk with a few people, but couldn’t seem to keep his eyes from following Natalia, who stood out in the crowd like the proverbial rose among the thorns. He could see her through the archway to the patio, and in the soft lighting, she looked beautiful. He didn’t know if it was the moment or what, but something about her seemed different tonight.

  She wasn’t beautiful in the American-girl sense, but her entrance into a room made heads turn. Something set her apart. Put people on notice. She was self-contained, confident, and it showed in her walk, her evenly modulated voice, and her ease in simply being who she was. No drama, no excuses and no beating around the bush. She wasn’t needy in any way that he could tell. She was the perfect friend.

  So why was he having all these crazy thoughts about her? He could never have imagined, a little more than a year ago, that he’d be married to Natalia and expecting his five-year-old son, a child he’d never seen, to come from another country to live with him.

  He pulled his gaze away. What he might have imagined didn’t matter. His whole life was changing in front of him and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. It wasn’t as if he’d been careless in Iraq. He’d always used protection. When he was first told about D.J., he didn’t believe it. But DNA didn’t lie, and now his life was no longer his own.

  And the fact that he felt that way made things even worse. What kind of selfish person was he to resent an innocent child coming into his life? There was no one to blame except himself.

  And the only person he felt he could talk to about it was Natalia. She didn’t judge and she didn’t tell him what to do. He was grateful for that. But he couldn’t let himself count on her too much. She was helping him and that was it. She had her own life and big plans for the future—which didn’t include a guy with a kid.

  He needed to make sure she knew he was grateful and had no expectations beyond her being there for a limited time.

  “You better hustle and get your bride over here,” Cole said, interrupting his thoughts. “I hear the wedding dance is going to start as soon as this song is over.”

  Mac’s eyes were still riveted on Natalia, who was talking and laughing and looking sexier than any woman he’d ever known. Another dance with her might be his undoing.

  Cole followed his gaze. “Nice,” he said.

  Yeah. Too nice. Mac sighed. “Is there any way I can get out of it?”

  “Not a chance, buddy. Not a chance.”

  Just then, Natalia looked up. He waved, then started toward her, repeating to himself, liver and onions, liver and onions.

  NATALIA MET MAC AT THE doorway. It was time for the wedding dances, then the cake, and then they could get out of there and go home. Life would return to normal. Thank God.

  “It’s time,” Mac said. “Two dances, and after the cake, we’re history.”

  “Right.” She forced a smile. Mac was obviously as eager to get it all over with as she was. She knew he would be, but hearing him say it dimmed the glow she’d felt earlier. It was okay for her to want to be done, but it felt like a rejection when he said it.

  And if that wasn’t some convoluted tangle of repressed desires, she didn’t know what was. She didn’t want him, but wanted him to want her. What a piece of work she was. Teenage angst at age thirty-three.

  As they walked to the middle of the dance floor, their guests gathered in a circle. The band hit one note, testing, waited a second and then as Mac reached for her, began playing “At Last,” a song that crawled deep into her soul and unearthed a longing so raw it almost hurt.

  Mac’s eyes met hers and she walked willingly into his arms. He held her close, gently but firmly, rocking slowly to the female singer’s sultry voice. Every nerve in Natalia’s body felt electrified. He curled his arms around her, barely moving to the beat. She was barely aware of anything but his body against hers, hard—and aroused. Very aroused.

  And this time, he made no apologies.

  After their dance, the rest—dancing with Cole while Mac danced with his mom—was blurry, and all Natalia wanted was to get home and be with Mac. Alone.

  As she stood in front of the cake, someone shoved a knife into her hands. Someone posed the two of them with Mac’s hand over hers for a photo. When they each picked up a piece of cake for the traditional exchange, cameras flashed like strobe lights all around them.

  Cake in hand, Mac grinned at her. She wagged a finger at him and his eyes gleamed with evil. Armed with her own weapon, she entwined her arm with his. Laughing, they stuffed cake into each other’s mouth. And then Mac pulled her into his arms and kissed her, tenderly, lovingly.

  Sweet. Sweet, sweet cake kisses. She kissed him back, losing herself in the tenderness of his fingertips caressing the side of her face, losing herself to feeling something very different from arousal. Her heart felt full and brimming over with undefinable emotions.

  When she heard a voice in the background say something about “coming up for air,” she reluctantly pulled away. Tori handed her and Mac damp napkins and when they finished wiping off, someone else handed them each a glass of champagne for another toast.

  Cole raised a glass to do his duty as best man, and proposed a toast. “To the two nicest people on the planet. I know
this may sound corny and cliché, but the words truly express all the good wishes, love and respect I have for both of you. May you dance like no one is looking, love like you’ve never been hurt, sing like no one is listening and live like it’s heaven on earth.” Then he laughed. “You’ve already started on a couple parts, so I know you’re going to have a long and happy life together.”

  After that, the guests all ate cake, and more drinking and dancing ensued. Mac danced with his mother and sisters, and Natalia danced with Sam, Cole and Linc. And after an appropriate time had elapsed, she and Mac slipped out and went to her car, which was decorated with the usual whitewash proclaiming Just Married. They drove home, tin cans bumping along behind.

  Back home, they collapsed onto the couch. Natalia shucked her shoes and Mac followed suit. Neither said a word.

  Finally, he said, “What a night.”

  “Yeah. What a night.”

  An awkward silence hung in the air between them.

  Then Natalia said, “What was that toast all about?”

  “Beats me. Maybe it was wishful thinking. Lately, Cole’s been on my neck about settling down. Maybe he doesn’t want to see his buddies having fun when he can’t anymore.”

  Natalia pulled back. “Or maybe he’s so happy with Serena he wants all his friends to be as happy as he is.”

  “Speaking of Serena,” Mac said. “How come she went home early?”

  Natalia turned to look at him. “What?”

  “Cole said she had to leave, but didn’t say why. And we were so busy after that, I didn’t ask again. I thought you’d know.”

  “She did tell me she wasn’t feeling well and might have to leave. Some nausea. Nothing serious.”

  Mac reached out, took Natalia’s hand and smiled softly. “Good.”

  His touch was warm and gentle. Like that of a good friend, which he was. She couldn’t help wondering if this was what a good marriage might be like. Nights of passion and then the quiet times when you simply enjoyed each other’s company. She had no frame of reference, other than seeing some long-married parents of friends, and some happily married friends. Lord knew, she’d never seen anything remotely resembling love in her home growing up.

  Her parents’ stoic attitudes made life seem like a chore. They didn’t believe in just having fun and enjoying each other. Everything had to have significant purpose. Natalia couldn’t imagine they’d ever had enough passion between them to even make love. She must’ve gotten her genes in that area from someone else, because it couldn’t be from them.

  “I had a great time tonight,” she said. “If the circumstances had been different, I would’ve had even more fun.”

  “Yeah, different meaning if two other people were having the reception.” Mac laughed. “Did you see Karl dancing with Ginny Gentry?” His laugh turned to a howl.

  Natalia burst out laughing at the thought. “Did you see Marley dragging him off the floor?”

  “Sam was in rare form tonight, too. He had his own groupies waiting on his every word.”

  “Mmm. He is rather studly, you know. Young, good-looking, great body.”

  “Maybe…for an immature, barely-out-of-his-teens tour guide.”

  “Hey, being young is not a bad thing.”

  Mac pulled back, feigning shock. “Why, you two-timing hussy! What about me, your husband of…what? a week?”

  She laughed out loud, and after another hour talking and laughing about the party, their friends and various townspeople, they went off to their separate bedrooms.

  But there was no way Natalia was going to get any sleep tonight.

  CHAPTER NINE

  THE NEXT WEEK WENT WITHOUT a hitch. Both Natalia and Mac kept their distance. Though they worked together and went places as a couple when required, Natalia kept a cool head about her. She’d had too much to drink the night of the reception, and even though there were adult beverages at Sam’s birthday party at the Blue Moon, she made sure that didn’t happen again.

  She peeked through the wood blinds on the panel window on one side of the front door to make sure the light was on for Mac. She glanced at her watch. Ten o’clock and he still hadn’t come home yet. Since she’d been there, he’d always told her where he was going and when he’d return, but tonight he hadn’t offered any information other than he wouldn’t be home until late.

  Letting the blinds fall shut, she felt silly, like a suspicious wife waiting for her husband to come home. She decided to go upstairs, read a book and fall asleep.

  In her room, she undressed and put on a tank top and boxer shorts to sleep in, then picked up her book and climbed into bed. But she couldn’t read.

  Since their wedding party, everything seemed to be falling into place. She’d had to ask Mac to add his information to both loan requests, and he’d agreed without hesitation. No questions, no wanting to know all the details. He just did it. Afterward, she’d gotten word from the Small Business Administration that they were still processing her loan and to be patient. Roger Sustern at the Spirit Creek Bank had said the marriage wouldn’t really make any difference, since they wouldn’t do anything unless the Small Business Administration gave their okay. While it wasn’t a yes, it was the next best thing.

  But time was against her. She felt a little more relieved after calling Brody and hearing that although the buyer he’d brought through was interested, the man hadn’t yet put in a bid on the property.

  Her eyes tiring, she put the book down and rolled over. Another good thing was that she hadn’t had a single flashback since moving into Mac’s house. She didn’t know what to attribute it to, but whatever it was, she was grateful.

  Or perhaps she was just too tired? She’d spent a lot of time with Tori fine-tuning the details for Serena and Cole’s wedding the next weekend, and despite the fact that she swore she wasn’t going to do much with Mac, she’d ended up working with him on the tree house, to complete it before D.J. came. There were still a few finishing touches left to do, but not many.

  And best of all, they’d learned that D.J. would be arriving on Tuesday. They’d both rearranged their schedules and planned to be at the airport in Phoenix to welcome him when he arrived.

  She finally drifted off with only good thoughts on her mind—until she awakened to loud voices outside. She rubbed her eyes and listened. The voices stopped, then started again, even louder this time. One was higher than the other—a female voice?

  Natalia’s nerves seized. She glanced at the digital alarm clock next to her. Who would be in Mac’s yard at 1:00 a.m.? She crept out of bed without turning on the light, and grabbed her cell phone, ready to call 911 if necessary. She also searched her purse for the Mace she carried, found it and went over to the window.

  She peered out. The yard was dimly lit from the light on the back porch, and she saw two people not far from the steps. A man and a woman.

  Mac.

  Natalia pulled back with a start, her mind searching for something to make sense of it. Resting her shoulder against the window frame, she closed her eyes. Mac had told her he wasn’t going to date while they were together.

  He’d lied.

  It got quiet. The voices had stopped and all she could hear was her heart thumping crazily as she tried to talk herself down. So what if he was seeing someone? The Lawton woman, Izzy had said. Natalia didn’t have a clue who that might be. Obviously not someone from Spirit Creek. But what possible difference did it make?

  Other than the fact that Mac had lied to her.

  She’d believed him, believed he was sincere.

  Swallowing her disappointment, she peered out the window again and saw Mac and the woman in an embrace. Her breath caught. The woman’s face rested in the crook of Mac’s shoulder, and he reached up and gently stroked her blond hair. And when she raised her head, he kissed her.

  Natalia’s knees felt weak. Tears welled and she lost her grip on the phone, heard a clunk as it hit the floor. Crawling back into bed, she covered her mouth with one hand, but
couldn’t stop the sobs that escaped.

  Then she heard a distant door slam, and a few minutes later, another one closed in the hallway.

  THE NEXT MORNING, HER eyes burned and her mouth felt dry as dust. She got up, went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. All she wanted to do was get dressed, get out of there and go to work—the one place she felt good about herself. She knew her job, knew what to expect, and she was good at it. Damned good. Nothing else mattered.

  First, she’d stop by the Bean, pick up a latte and chat for a few minutes with Serena. That had been her routine before and getting back to it would be good for her. Get back to a place she knew, where her emotions weren’t on a roller coaster ride every two minutes. Routine was what she needed. Her own schedule.

  It was super early, and she hoped she could get out of the house without seeing Mac. For all she knew, he wasn’t alone. Either way, he’d probably sleep in because of his late night, and since he had the day off, she wouldn’t see him until tonight. Tomorrow they’d go pick up D.J., and before long she’d be safe at home again.

  When dressed, she tiptoed past Mac’s room and crept down the stairs. The aroma of fresh coffee hit her about halfway down. She stopped midstep. He was up. Or were they up?

  Hoping he wasn’t in the kitchen, where he could see her, she continued down as quietly as possible, took the last step, ready to head left, down the hall and into the living room. Out of sight.

  “Coffee’s ready.” Mac’s voice, as smooth as the richest latte, usually had a calming effect on her. This morning it nearly made her jump out of her skin.

  “C’mon in and join me.”

  She turned. He sat on a barstool, elbows on the granite counter in front of him, coffee mug in hand. His sandy hair was tousled, but he was fully dressed, in a black henley shirt, open at the neck, worn jeans and loafers without socks. Aside from the hair, for a man who hadn’t had a whole lot of sleep, he looked amazingly fresh. And he was alone.